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Bray 'WHY'att - The Woes of Bray Wyatt | The Rob Report #1

Updated: Mar 16



Watch wrestling again they said...it will be fun they said...now I haven't watched wrestling since the lorded Attitude Era, a time when it was acceptable to crucify your fellow wrestlers and make women bark like dogs...wow why did I stop watching? But, I returned and, though a great deal of it was still utter tripe, there was one thing, one wrestler who's unpredictability, ferocity and character work, hooked me in instantly...that man? Mr. Bray Wyatt! This was back in 2014, as the Wyatt Family stable began to excel itself with victories over The Shield and many other stables and single competitors. I waited with bated breath at each show, waiting for the cocophony of noise that announced a Wyatt arrival. Shamlessly I will say, I loved it! But then, a truth hit me like a sloppy stink face, a realisation if you will: the realisation that WWE couldn't keep momentum with a wrestler if he was going downhill on a skateboard! Slowly but surely, the Wyatt's began to lose, more frequently, not just the stable but the man himself! Standout losses include Alex Riley, Kofi Kingston and 2 consecutive Wrestlemania losses. Surely this was the end, especially as Braun Strowman, a man with as much wrestling grace as a lethargic cow being mounted by another, more lethargic cow, had joined the stable (yay! He's enormous urgh!) And I wept big manly tears for my bearded hero. But, a light shone on the horizon...the brand split! Surely this would invigorate his character, elevate him to the top, make him the star and true dominant heel he should have been! His first two shows were...interesting but not a total disaster, losing matches against Ziggler and Ambrose, and, though they strived to make him look strong in defeat, his words, his promos that hooked me in for so long, now just made him look like a deluded Brian Blessed rambling about Wolves lost in the woods wearing snakeskins and professing to be a God...a fairly small, pathetic God that keeps losing...surely! It is at this point that we must admit that Wyatt's last win was at Battleground, his last singles win, a fairly underwhelming fart of a match against Xavier Woods designed to Big-E him up about having conquered his fears (PUN!) At this point, still as a Wyatt fan, I began to politely lose my temper as only a Britishman can, threatening to write a strongly worded letter and...join a queue....or....something! But, one last hope glowed bright in the distance! Backlash 2016, the Smackdown pay-per-view! Surely Wyatt would win!? Even after the Kayfabe not so Kayfabe injury to Randy Orton, surely Wyatt would win against an old, very stiff, very mediocre incarnation of Kane (a wrestler whom btw, I adored until the bloody suits and cups of tea gimmick! This is why I hate you WWE, you know what you did), even after the RKO from Orton, surely Wyatt would still win...of course this didn't happen, Kane won clean! I just don't understand it; at this point in his career, what possible momentum could Kane possibly need or garner from this? Yet again Wyatt looked like a drunk bumbling idiot after promos declaring himself the biggest predator! Then, just to top off this rant, at the 4th October showing of Smackdown, he lost via countout to Kane AGAIN!! At this point I'm now tearing huge chunks of hair from my own very poor Bray Wyatt imitation beard I have grown in tribute! What are they doing to this man? What is his direction? How can the promos still come when he loses on a comically regular basis? The mind boggles! At this point I fear superstars would be infinitely more fearful of the Gobbledygooker (Google it, Google it now) than Wyatt! It’s a shame and it shows some of WWE's slapdash booking and seeming inability to see the end of a character’s run through properly! If Wyatt loses against Orton at No Mercy, which he will let's be honest, then I genuinely don't know what will happen! I fear for him and it's a bloody great shame! What's next? A feud with Jack Swagger? Mojo Rawley? What's the point, well done WWE, a chance for an absolutley monstrous heel and look what you've done. It's like Heidenreich all over again...oh no...wait

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